Sloop John B

Oh hi kid,

Sorry for that last letter, I always worry that bad news from home might be distracting or upsetting. But you made it through moms hearts surgery just fine, and we’ll make it through this. 

So I’m wondering how life is for you now that you’ve lost the third wheel, better I hope. Your comp should be starting to get his feet under him by now. Even though we lived in Texas, I have a hard time picturing your mission.

On to sports, you saw the updates I sent, I guess I still owe you a recap from the paper. Colorado scored another touchdown after I quit watching. Whittingham said that they are by far the best team they faced this year. He also said he feels like he’s in the twilight zone right now with all of these losses. Oh, and the Utes just lost to Mississippi state in basketball. They kept it close and it looks like there’s some potential there, so we’ll keep following it. Oh, and byu lost to Kansas in the last minute, this time the refs didn’t bail them out. The fell in the rankings from 6 to 14…HAAA!

I’ve been thinking about our conversation last week about college. I want you to know that I support any decision you make. And I also remind you that you don’t need to worry about it right now. It’s okay to keep your mind open, but you still have a whole year to make even basic decisions. That being said, here are a few things that I want you to keep in mind. 

First, college or something else, it’s important to get formal training. Any job with low expectations for entry also has low potential, nobody is really going to pay to train you, other than the military. And it’s my opinion that there are high non monetary costs to the military. Other than college you can do trade school, technical college, apprenticeships etc.

Second, no matter what, you are responsible and in charge of your career. In college you need to be assertive and seek out guidance and input. Ben is very good at that, mom’s doing it, Jacob is figuring it out, and was richly rewarded for doing that. Just showing up to class doesn’t mean much if you’re not deliberate in your intentions.

Third, be intentional. I don’t know if there’s a perfect job for anyone. I used to tell Jacob that sometimes liking your job slightly more than you hate it is a win. They pay you for a reason. For me, the best way to be intentional is to find something you have an interest in. The bigger your interest the more passion you find for it. Which means it’s so much easier to commit to it every day. 

Forth, once you commit, commit. What I mean is, don’t keep making the decision, lean into your choice and trust yourself. Now that doesn’t mean that you might need to course correct. I started design with the intention of going into architecture. But I realized I had passion for the creative side and trepidation for the technical side. I used to worry that I gave up on upper level math too easily, but as I recall, I started the same trig class three times and was lost each time before the drop date, it wasn’t my gig. So I think I gave it a fair chance. The reason why this is important for me at this moment is because here I am, 33 years after starting my career and now I’m without a job. Is it because I made the wrong choice? According to your mom I’ve done just fine. In this world everyone goes through this. I read that the average job tenure is now 2.9 years. So even though I feel the anxiety building, I don’t think I’m going through anything others haven’t had to do.

Fifth, whatever you do, the goal of is so that you can take care of yourself and your family. I know enough hig successful people that have a bad family life because their balance was off. I’d much rather be average and have the amazing family that I do. Anytime I feel bad about my trial I think of your mom and you boys. That bolsters me so much, I feel so grateful. 

Well, enough dad lecture for now. I just thought I’d write down my thoughts for you.

I’m back in the basement listening to my dad rock. I think right now my favorite toy is my little stereo system.

Now for the weekly recap section of the letter. You know the main thing. Friday I got up early and met aunt Patti at the taylorsville temple at 6:30 for initiatories. She took me to breakfast after. When I’m with her I can feel my mom and my dad, my brother and grandma. I feel the kind of love a kid feels, the kind you don’t recognize until you’re not a kid and miss those that have gone before you. I am so grateful for her.

Friday night there was the Mike Tyson vs Jake Paul fight on Netflix. There were four fights on the card. The second and third were really good. For the main fight, We all had these high hopes that iron Mike Tyson would be able to defeat time and age, not so. It was more of a play fight than anything. At least Tyson didn’t get hurt. He is such a flawed character but he is one of my all time heroes. He was the worlds greatest at one thing despite so many challenges. He’s my age. I remember he was coming up when I was on my mission. I always loved boxing and remembering seeing him on the cover of a Sports Illustrated magazine in the store once. It was the first time someone of such prominence was my age. I didn’t really understand what he was doing until I got home. He was such a dominant fighter I was afraid to blink because he would knock his opponents out so quickly, so brutally.

Yesterday felt normal to me. Mom and I got up and went to Winco. We bought a 40 pound crate of apples. We go through them fast around here. Then we watched the game. It wasn’t terrible until the 4th quarter, but it was inevitable. Mom had a big project for us that we did during the second half, which was a good distraction. For her school culture night we had to package over 300 bead bracelet kits. Turns out Jacob is a pro at this because of his warehouse experience. It was tedious but I loved being together. That took about four hours with the three of us working. Ben has been really busy with his homework. I’m Guessing it’s his paper that he’ll be presenting in Washington DC in December. Jacob is going to go with him. He likes to tease your mom by asking if she wants to go and when she says yes he says “sorry, you can’t.” Freaking Ben.

They changed up missionary focus week here. We don’t have weekly sign ups anymore or daily visits, so as the ward mission leader, I felt bad that I didn’t get any visits from our ward and only one dinner sign up, so with your mothers approval, we had them over for dinner last night. Elder Stone and Elder Aguilera. I like them both. Mom made grilled chicken sandwiches with homemade buns, homemade Mac and cheese with bananas Foster for desert. So freaking good. They left a nice message and went out to contact. Mom and I watched Inside Out 2 on Disney+. It was better than most Pixar sequels these days, I’ll look forward to watching it again next year with you. After that I asked your brothers if they wanted to watch anything else, no reply. So I queued up this Brian Wilson documentary that I’d been wanting to watch. Yes, it was a true, boring documentary. But I love that guy. He’s another all time hero of mine. In fact, I’m listening to Pet Sounds as I write this. That album makes me think about you, especially Sloop John B. God only knows is playing right now, which is an all time favorite song for me.

Church, normal. It was the primary program so we sat in the back. Brother Evans gave the lesson on Ether, the same ones I mentioned in my previous letter. As you can imagine I’ve been pretty reliant on the Spirit, and so many things that came up felt like direction or confirmation of the things I’ve been praying about. I think he’s a great teacher. And the thing about trials is that sometimes they open you up to feeling the Spirit. That’s the part I’m starting to learn to be grateful for.

Mom made us tostadas for dinner. We’ve decided that that is the best possible Sunday dinner. It’s the one you boys will be nostalgic for the way I am for roast beef. We watched the Utes basketball game after. 

Now I’m doing this downstairs, mom’s watching tv in the bedroom, Ben’s watching football upstairs, and Jacob is playing video games in the game room. I’m starting to miss them so I think I’ll finish this up and go upstairs.

I love you kid, I can chat with you anytime tomorrow. I’ll be working on the resume and portfolio updates and the job search. Remember, we pray for you first and always.

Pops