Bye Bye Buick

Oh hi Poey,

So here we are on a quiet Sunday afternoon waiting to go to the Bergs house for dinner. It’s been a pretty interesting Sunday so far. 

This morning you’re mom and I went to Provo for one of your cousins baby blessings. It was nice enough I guess. Rodney and Beverly were there. It was interesting because last week we heard that Beverly’s adult daughter had been hit by a car and killed. This happened in California I guess. We sat by her on the pew and I could tell she was upset. After the meeting, as usual, the family was heading outside for a picture. Beverly and I were lagging behind and I could see that she was still really upset, then she started crying, crying really hard. So I hugged her and told her to let it out. Her daughter was going through super hard times, drug addiction, mental health issues, all kinds of hard stuff. As she sobbed I told her about the Plan of Salvation, about where her daughter is now and who she’s with. I told her about the resurrection and when we’ll all be together again. It was interesting hearing that stuff coming out of me, not that I doubt it but just how it flowed out so easily. She was still crying but as she settled down she asked how long it would hurt. All I could think to say that it would hurt for a while, but that comfort would come. It’s amazing to me how much comfort the gospel brings. That’s the good news you are sharing every day.

We came home to hear Jacob speak in the first ward. Man Joe, your brother is a strong speaker. His message was on the hope and the promise that temple brings. He told some stories from his mission that illustrated his point so well. I whispered to mom how much comfort his message would bring Beverly. This was in the Bluffdale 1st Ward. After, when mom was chatting with all of her admirers and everyone was telling Jacob how great he did, one guy came up to us and told us his son is in your mission. Seems like he’s been out roughly a year longer than you. Ashton Alger. His dad was really nice and I told him I’d tell you.

There was also some really sad news from the North Dakota mission. Two elders crashed into a semi truck stopped on the freeway and were killed on the scene. One kid was from Riverton, Robbert “Tommy” gardener according to the paper. He looked like he was getting close to the end of his mission and I don’t know if he went to Riverton high or if you knew him. I gotta say though that I got pretty shaken up when I read that. I cried for their families. Always be careful Joseph, please. Loosing you or one of your brothers might just be the end of me. After seeing what my parents went through when my brother had his accident was so horrible. If you ever wonder why I pray for you so much, that’s why.

Today we’re fasting. Grandma had her MRI this week and it looks like the tumor hasn’t shrunk the way they hoped. The doctor isn’t overly concerned, but they going to see how they can adjust her treatment, so that’s what we’re fasting for. I know you are concerned for her, we all are. She’s doing well though. She’s actually working more because her coworker was also recently diagnosed with cancer.

Yesterday was a big day in our family. I got up early to change the oil on mom’s Buick. It was my second try this week since I stripped the oil drain plug because Walmart drastically over tightened it. I could not get it off and by the time I gave up it was completely rounded. So I called a mechanic and made an appointment and was informed that the may have to change the oil pan which could cost over $500…great. So then I moved on to the brakes. When we drove to Vegas I noticed some pulsing on the brakes. I checked the driver side front, wow, not as bad as I thought; drivers rear, the pads low but not bad, I can handle that. Passenger front…EEEFFFFF…. The rotor was completely scored. Add $300 to $500. Add to that the tune up I need to do and the slipping transmission that I was afraid to tell mom about and probably a new set of tires before winter and I was done. Unfortunately mom asked how things were going just about then and I told her with all of my frustration. We had been talking about a new car since last summer. In fact, the day we bought the pizza oven last summer was the first time we looked at cars. We went to the place a bought our two little fords and looked at several SUV’s. We drove a Nissan pathfinder, a 2022 with about 18,000 miles on it. I think we made a fair deal on it but big purchases like that always have us second guessing. I can justify it saying that I don’t want a car to leave mom stranded, but you never know, it could just be pride or my consumerism. I don’t think we even have a good picture of it yet. It is fancy, top of the line with every option. It has a slight vibration between 60 and 70 that I want to have looked at. I’m thinking it’s an out of balance wheel or a bearing. I hope it’s nothing.

When we got home we took your brothers to Dairy Queen then we went to a big new Asian supermarket that opened in West Jordan called H Mart. It was big, and super crowded for their grand opening. Ben was uncharacteristically happy and Jacob was his normally unimpressed. I like watching your mother in those situations, it fun to see her discovery process. It also did not feel like we were in Utah, which is refreshing sometimes.

Tonight we just came home from auntie Selena’s house. She had delicious enchiladas and rice and beans. Mom brought this killer layered cake with strawberries, whipped cream and chocolate pudding. So fancy.

It’s been pretty normal around here otherwise. Mom’s full of energy which always seems a miracle after what she went through. Your cousin Cecily also looks very strong and healthy. Your cousin Camille is expecting a baby at some point. Prayers are answered and miracles happen every single day.

I may have told you that I declined to work in the temple but your mom is still doing it. I’m not sure if I feel guilty about it or not. I had volunteered not been called, directly anyway. But as I knew your mom was going to serve Friday it occurred to me that I had been really good at temple attendance since you left. So I asked your brothers if they wanted to go and they agreed to do an endowment session with me. I know pride is bad, but i always feel proud when you boys are with me. I did keep looking over at the women’s side to see your mom, I haven’t been to a session without her since I was out of work. I was hoping to see her, or more honestly, I was hoping she’d see us randomly in the temple, but she was being trained.

This paragraph is going to be an admonition from your dad, so skip it if you ain’t in the mood. It’s about letters. It occurred to me during your brothers talk that he had sent us those stories he told in his letters home. They weren’t really the type of thing he’d chat about on our calls. I think the action of writing those experiences down helps solidify them in your internal story. I also think writing is a skill that gets better with practice and can help all of your communication skills. But I also think of others, people like Beverly and other non member or less active members in our family or that follow us on facebook that read your stories. There may only be a few, but those few are important. Finally, you may want to have a legacy of your mission in addition to your journal. My journal was far too introspective for me to even now feel comfortable reading. But I do enjoy reading my letters home. Okay, I won’t dwell on this, and please don’t think that I think you’re doing anything wrong. It’s your choice, and I know you are doing great things.

Okay, if you skipped that I just wanted to tell you that I love you, I’m proud of you, and I can see your growth. Keep at it and be safe for crap sake. Know that I love you with all of my heart. 

Pops