St. George

 I’m in a warm, comfortable place, the light is golden, I’m happy. I look down and on my lap is a little boy. Instinctively, I bow my head to smell his hair, kiss his head. It smells like shampoo, sunshine, and a tiny bit of sweat…the sweet kind like only a healthy little kid can have. I lift my head and the little boy looks up at me. I know it’s you, and I know I’m dreaming, but I ask you how old you are. “I’m six!” You say with a smile, looking at me with your big brown eyes. I wake up from my dream, feeling that deeply happy feeling that the love of you’re kids bring. As I wake up I know that you’re far away, and I feel some of my worries creeping back into my thoughts. But then I decide that that dream is a little kindness from my Heavenly Father, and I’m grateful.

Oh hi kid,

Sorry for that awkward start, but that dream has lifted my spirits for the last several days. I think Ben’s news of the week has made me especially sappy. His news is that it’s all but official, he’s been notified that he will be accepted to Yale, and he intends to go. Of course it’s fantastic news, it’s generational news, seriously. But deep in my heart all I can think of is one of my dear little boys being far away from me. I know those feelings are selfish, and I am so happy for and proud of him, but you know me well enough.

I applied for nine jobs this week, got rejected officially by a few, and will probably not hear anything back on the others. Not to sound fatalistic, I do have some hope. I filled out some online questions that I think I was able to answer well enough. I had a dream (I know, dad and his dreams 🙄), that I had an interview and started a job. Again, maybe more comfort from God.

Wow, this is becoming a sad letter, sorry.

Things this week started out normal enough. Wednesday mom had a conference in St George. I took her and a classmate to meet the shuttle in the deep, dark center of hell, AKA the west parking lot of La Vell Edward’s stadium in Provo, Utah. It wasn’t all bad, mom bought me breakfast at kneaders. On the way home I drove by the old Provo temple, it’s gone. I had thought the were going to remodel it, but it’s a start-over.

By the time I got home I got a call from mom telling me that she got her own room and that I should come join her. So I packed my pack and got ready to go. I had to wait for Jacob to come home, you see he told me that the oil light on his car was on…that’s bad. So he came home and I checked it, a quart-and-a-half low. That’s not great. I did a little research and apparently Kia’s and Hyundai’s tend to use oil, I told him to check it every time he gets gas. I think I’ll just check it every month. 

Anyway, as soon as I got finished with that I was off to meet mom in St. George. You know, it’s not every day a beat up, unemployed, old geezer like me gets invited on a romantic escape by a gorgeous woman like Heidi Rivera. Sometimes, you just say yes.

I really enjoyed my drive down, you know how I am. I stopped for gas and dinner by the old Neways building. I got a $3 meal at McDonald’s on the app. I listened to my own tunes all the way down, the Bare-naked Ladies, Elvis Costello, New Order. Stuff Ben disapproves of.

I had planned on going to see the North Rim of the Grand Canyon via dirt roads. I had read that St. George was setting records for the number of days for no rain. So guess what, Thursday morning it was raining and snowing hard, it snowed all day. The roads I had planned on taking were all marked “impassable when wet”, I decided to play it safe and change my plans since I was going solo. So I decided to explore some random places in the area. I went to the site of the Mountain Meadow Massacre. It was cold, bleak, and empty, both from a physical and psychological perspective. Then, for Ben’s sake, I went to Pioche, Nevada. It’s an old mining town with lots of charm and history. It’s also the birthplace of Ben’s favorite companion, the illustrious Elder Freiner. Then I stopped by another ghost town, Modena, Utah. There were some cool old buildings there. Then I drove to see some famous petroglyphs at the Parawan Gap. None of these things would be worth seeing on their own, but together, by myself, it was a good day. On the way back to St. George the weather was bad and traffic was worse. There was an SUV off the side of the freeway, they had wiped out one of those giant freeway signs and was way off the road. I hope nobody was hurt, but it seems like it’s always the idiot in the expensive SUV that crashes and causes traffic. 

Friday mom was going to finish early so I didn’t go far, I just drove around till it was time to pick her up. The weather was clear all the way home. We stopped by the Beaver Creamery for a grilled cheese sandwich, but the line was so long, so we just got cheese curds, plain and delicious. When we got home, mom made delicious fajita fries for our valentine dinner. She is the best ever.

Yesterday was a normal Saturday. I glued up the last two half’s of my guitar blank, but when I took it out of the clamps this morning, it was cupped, so I’m going to re cut it and try again. I’m not sure if it’s off because my jointer is off or because my clamps are off. 

I had an experience yesterday that kinda shook me. I went to harbor freight, as I was leaving, and old van backed right into the front of my 4Runner, I honked, and I was mad. The van pulls a short distance away. It was a Hispanic guy. I kept the mad look on my face, but I worried about a confrontation. He had no threat in his body language, so I rolled down my window. He apologized. He told me that he had spent the last of his money rebuilding the transmission, and he didn’t have twelve bucks for the quart of transmission fluid he needed to get it working right. I admit that he may have been your typical bum telling stories, but I didn’t think so. I felt bad not having any cash to give him. As he drove away I tried to think of what I could do, my mind stayed blank. All the way home all I could think of was how bad that guy had it compared to me. I felt so foolish for begging Heavenly Father for relief when our lives are so rich with happiness and opportunity. I haven’t been able to forget that guy. I keep him in my prayers, he gives me perspective. Oh, and there’s no damage to the 4Runner.n

Later that afternoon we went over to aunt Patti’s to replace her garbage disposal. It went pretty well but I did break a pipe getting it out. It was only five bucks so I think she was still ahead. We went to Costco on the way home where my nose started running so suddenly and profusely that I had to use the inside of my sweatshirt for a tissue. Gross. By the time we got home your brothers had already left for the Utes game against Kansas. I was wiped out so I didn’t even watch it, I went to bed. Apparently it was a great game, the Utes won, Gabe Madson broke the Utah three point record, and Ben and Jake were seen on TV. Dang.

Today was a normal Sunday, quite and boring. Your brothers were jamming downstairs and they sound good. I’m about to check the doors and go to sleep. 

Love you kid,

Talk tomorrow,

Pops