Optima Red-Top and the diciple

 Oh hi kid!

Batteries are simple, everyday things. We are surrounded by them, they are everywhere. You only notice them when they fail, like the other day when the co2 sensor in the basement started beeping. All night, it took me forever to find. Well, Friday night we were on our way to Bear Lake. Per usual, I was grumpy at the start of the trip due to a late start, but things were going well. When we made a pee stop (thanks Joe) near Logan, as is my habit, I gassed up while the urination was occurring. By then I knew we would get to camp in the dark, but oh-well. Then, upon restart: click, click, all dead. 

Crap. 

I had mom call uncle Aaron since he was headed up there too. Luckily, he was about 5 minutes from us. So he pulled around to give us a jump start...no joy, nothin. The first fear that came to mind was that there was a residual problem from the, as it has become known, flood. But the oft ignored rational side of my brain told me it was just the battery. I tend to buy high end batteries for the Jeep as the winch, lights, trailer, and the jostling from four wheeling tends to be hard on batteries. So uncle Aaron towed us around back of the Maverick (I need to replace the tow strap I lost in...The Flood) then we took the high-end dad battery to the Auto Zone for testing and diagnostics. This is where I made my first mistake. I should have just bought a new battery, no questions asked. Instead I let the kid behind the counter test it. He was what you would call, a brand enthusiast for my particular brand of battery—the Optima Red Top. He excitedly told me that his lasted for 10 years, I guess that meant that he would have installed it into his car at age seven. Then, while he’s hooking my battery up to the tester that his grandpa had Optimas in his semis for 10 years. While he was busy espousing the virtues of said batteries, he neglected to put in the AGM setting on his tester, so he got a reading of 98% full. So, instead of trusting my instincts and buying a new battery, I believed that young idiot. My heart sank as I had flashbacks of having to leave my Jeep in Loa after the flood. And back to the Maverick we went, old battery in hand.

So we went back and started to try to diagnose the problem ourselves. I pulled relays and fuses, I checked connections, I banged on the starter, and I scraped non existent corrosion off of connectors...nothing. So I gave in against my pride and called a tow truck, dang it! I was worried because my windows were down an not operational due to the dead battery. So the tow truck arrived, it was dark by this time, the truck arrived. The driver was the spitting image of your cousin Jordan, if Jordan was 25 and three inches shorter. I told him that I was worried about the open windows at wherever they were taking it to. So he offered to hook up his jump starter to it to see if it would give me enough juice to close them. He grabs this thing about the size of a book, with thick wires coming out of it connected to big jawed clips. He hooks it up and tells me to try it. Instead of click-click die, it was click, vroom! I was dumbfounded. I actually turned it off and tried it again—Vroom! 

At that moment, I made the rash decision to drive home and not have it towed. It was rash due to the fact that the dash lights were randomly flashing on and off, the warning bell was intermittently ringing, the headlights were randomly and continually flashing the brights on and off, the engine was surging, and we had 90 miles to go in the dark. We hooked the trailer up to uncle Aaron’s Jeep and headed out. Dispute the chaos, the Jeep made it home fine. The only issue was that I must’ve put one of the fuses I pulled back in the wrong slot as the fan for the AC wasn’t working. 

Saturday morning I got up and took the battery to Autozone. The guy said these Optimas are crap since being bought out by a new company. He said most of them don’t last two years these days. He tested it using the proper settings, and it was beyond dead. I got a new, non Optima battery. It works. I did have a couple of issues I worked out yesterday, including the AC fan.

So, another trip lost to mechanical issues, another trip where your uncle Aaron has to bail us out, and another time praying all the way home. But, we made it, it’s fine, and we’ll try again in a couple of weeks.

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As for other debacles, you heard about the car dealership fiasco. I have to tell you, I had a hard time not scolding Mark for the whole mess. I am proud of Jacob on several fronts. He kept his cool under confrontation, he was recognized by both the window crew and the duochey manager as being a professional window cleaner, and that he drove himself all the way to Lehi. I did tell him that I don’t want him working for Mark anymore, we’ll see how long that lasts.

I sure love you kid,

Pops