The BIG TWO-OHH,

Well happy birthday kid! Birthdays are weird on your mission and when you get deep into your fifties, but I sure have been thinking about you. Other than the 4th of July, this is really your last big milestone before your return. 

We’re in a funny time here at home, and I think it’s evident in our calls with you. Waiting for Ben to leave is weird. I can tell he’s really ready to go, but I can also tell he’s feeling a little separation anxiety. I need to get in some adventures with him before he goes or I’m going to regret it. As you know, your brothers have developed a taste for fancy, high-end travels. But I think there’s still a place for simple overnighters and camping. The problem with that right now is Jacob’s job, he doesn’t get off until 7:30. We’ll figure something out.

The other cloud hanging over us is my job situation. Actually, if I look at it with any sense of gratitude it’s not a cloud it’s rays from the sun. Let me elaborate. I hate this feeling of not having an answer to the question “where do you work?” Or, “where is my next paycheck coming from?” It comes right down to pride and fear (which I think are closely related in terms of their both being a state of not having faith). On the other hand hand, there are real miracles happening. The first one is that somehow our bank account rose last month. Now, we ain’t millionaires, but I thought I was going to have had to dip into my retirement savings by now, and I haven’t, so I’m grateful. I do think that this is a direct gift from Heavenly Father. Some of it is coming from my unemployment benefits, which I’m not quite half way through, some of it was from a little extra pay that mom got for something she did this year, and some is coming from freelance work. This week upcoming should be pretty busy. So I think I need to get over my pride and fear of not being employed and identity myself as being a freelancer, or a business owner, or a consultant. I think I need to just lean into that instead of feeling sorry for myself. I’ll keep up my job search, but I’m going to try to emphasize my freelance work.

Speaking of the job search, I’ve been rejected by the Church for two jobs (admittedly jobs I wasn’t perfectly suited for). I was also recently rejected by BYU, but I don’t think that’s a surprise either. Keeping up that trend, there’s a job at Deseret Book I’ve applied to and I contacted the hiring manager, who actually replied. Hopefully I’ll at least get an interview.

I can’t think of anything exceptional that happened during the week. I chatted with an old boss that made me feel really good about myself, he said the kindest things about me and my work when I worked for him. 

Monday was Memorial Day, grandma invited us for dinner, uncle Tim was there. We got into a little discussion about the byu quarterback Jake Retzloff. A girl is suing him for sexually assaulting her. Uncle Tim doesn’t think he’s guilty. I don’t know if he’s guilty, but I certainly don’t think the woman’s accusations should be dismissed. Uncle Tim tends to favor those in prominent positions or positions of authority. I tend to be suspicious of most of those people. After your brothers and I started cleaning up some of the residual leaves that drop on her lower patio. Uncle Tim did not participate. Later in the week your brothers took my blower and pressure washer to finish the cleanup.

I took Friday off and went to the Hill Air Force Museum with aunt Patti and your baby cousin Evan. It was fun going with a curious little kid again. I got to talk to some of the old timers about the aircraft too, which I always enjoy.

Yesterday was another chore Saturday for me. Mom’s starting to bring her classroom stuff home in boxes since she’s not teaching next year so I need to find room. The logical place is the shed, so I filled the trailer with a load of junk to clear out some space. For probably the first time since we got it, the shed is organized. We also went shopping, and I changed the oil and rotated the tires on my 4Runner. That’s been a really good car. The next big maintenance will be the rear brakes and spark plugs. I really enjoy doing basic maintenance on our cars.

Today was church, nothing to report. We did go for a nice ride up little cottonwood canyon after dinner. I grew up going for Sunday drives, I hope we start them again.

Well kid, I love you. Be safe tomorrow and call when you can.

Pops