Late night letter

Man Jacob, I kinda suck. I’ve been looking forward to writing you all day and here it is 11:15 at night and I’m just getting to it.

Not that much has happened since Monday, as per normal on my Wednesday letters, things around here are pretty freaking dull. Which in most cases, means that things are pretty okay and we have a lot to be grateful for.

I have no intention of this being one of those “hang in there sport” type of letters, nor do I intend you to feel bad for feeling discouraged. It’s normal, it’s expected, and honestly, I’d be a little suspicious if you didn’t go through this sooner or later. I fasted for you yesterday, which is to say I sat on my rear end all day and the only discomfort I put myself through was avoiding stuffing crap down my gullet every 15 minutes like I do on a normal day. I did have a few thoughts come to mind, don’t expect these thoughts to be profound, but I do think they’re relevant.

1. You’re life changed completely overnight, literally. From that first shocking day of your arrival to now every single aspect of your life is a challenge. You switched your brothers for companions, complete with different languages and cultures; every form of communication is foreign; your comforts are gone; you have very little time to retreat into yourself. I’m sure I could go on for pages. Something as simple as a move is considered one of life’s top five most stressful things, you’re going through vastly more than a simple move. Be kind to yourself as you make the adjustment.
2. You’re most uncomfortable emotion to experience is embarrassment. I can relate. The whole point of missionary work is to get past yourself and do the work. I told you this on our call and I’ll tell you again here. The empathy you demonstrated to that man you carried into the church is pure compassion. The fact that you felt awkward is because you’re not prideful in that service, you don’t want attention. You’re description of his house was the same, you felt for that brother. That’s being christ like, I don’t care if me telling you that is embarrassing.
3. Mom said this: missionary work is just work. You’re trudging through doing the work, for you it’s been physical, it’s been mentally stressful, it’s been backbreaking and it’s been nasty. In your letters, you’ve described most of that in a positive way, in the spirit of service.
4. You are always the outsider. In your ward, with your comps, just walking down the street. Believe me or not, but soon, you will be able to make that an advantage. Be emboldened by understanding that you are different, that difference is the spirit you radiate. Make that your advantage.
5. You’re the fun one, you always have been in every group you are a part of. Use that talent with your comps and fellow missionaries, with your ward, and with those you teach. Just because missionary work is work doesn’t mean you can’t have fun.
6. You have a lot of help. You’re comps, even if it doesn’t feel like it. The other missionaries, elder Randall was so kind to tell us how well you are doing. Prayers from home, including grandma Heumann prayers. As I fasted for you, my mom and dad kept coming to mind. I know they are supporting you closely.

I could go on Jacob, you know it’s true. You’re sweet follow up letter was reassurance that you’re okay 

I want you to remember that my love for you is unconditional, but Gods is total. As you serve his children, he will strengthen you 

Uncle Aaron posted this on Facebook yesterday, maybe you saw it. I think it applies to you.

Chasten. Chastise. Chastening. 

I have always had the impression that chastening was synonymous with scolding or punishment. Studying the following has helped me to see chastening in a new, better light. 

What blessings come from chastening?

“Faith likewise includes faith in God’s developmental purposes, for ‘the Lord seeth fit to chasten his people; yea, he trieth their patience and their faith.’ (Mosiah 23:21). Still some of us have trouble when God’s tutoring is applied to us! We plead for exemption more than we do for sanctification, don’t we brothers and sisters?”

                       —Neil A. Maxwell

“To be chastened is to be subjected to pain, suffering, deprivation, or misfortune in order to correct, strengthen, and perfect behavior.”

          —McConkie and Millet, 

             Doctrinal Commentary 2:271-72.

Chastisement often is just the perfecting and strengthening process intended for us in this life. Sometimes it is a result of our own poor choices that require correction, but often it’s just the ups and downs of life that perfect us and make us stronger. God wants us to be strong. God wants us to be better. Don’t we want the same?

The first part of anyone’s mission is chastening. Expect to be stronger because of it.

Anyway Jacob, please know that these thoughts are not intended as a lecture or an over reaction. They are the things I tried to tell you boys about what I learned on my mission but that I know can’t be understood until you go through it for yourself. 

K, that’s enough of that.

Sports. The jazz beat New Jersey by a lot last night. I didn’t watch the game, but they had just gone through a four game loosing streak, so they needed it. BYU men’s basketball also killed Oregon by 30. I hate Oregon even more for that, I hate mark pope even worse. I hate listening to his interviews. The Utes men’s basketball plays in some tournament this week. If the get somewhere in that, they may have a good little team. I think the Utes will beat Oregon, then Oregon state will beat them in the final game of the season, then the Utes will beat Colorado, the destroy Oregon state in the championship game, and finally, kick the crap out of Ohio state or Baylor in the rose bowl. You read it here first.

I’m going to send your Christmas package tomorrow or Friday. There’s one obvious thing for your companion in there, it will annoy you. But there’s a lot of other crap to share too.

I love you kid, I have enormous faith in you. You make me so proud every day.

Pops