Last letter of 2019

Oh  hi kid!

Last letter to marked with 2019. Seems like an eventful year here, but perspective takes hold fairly quickly, even though more than half of the months here were filled with worries. it’s amazing how much I was forced to fall back on faith. Not just to find a job, but to also recognize all the blessings in my life. There were so many ways that we were cared for and our prayers were answered Ben. From our savings lasting much longer than Expected, to having a calling that allowed me to think of others rather than just of myself, to gorgeous summer mornings just after rain where I really felt like I saw God in my surroundings on my hikes. I spent a lot of time on my knees and a lot of time in the temple. I cried some, mostly when I was alone and I felt and vented so much frustration, not always when I was alone. I marveled at mom’s love and patience toward me, and at your brothers faith in me. I took a lot of comfort in the prayers that I knew were being said for our family. I expected blessings because of your service. I was also very attuned to the Spirit. I knew that the job I eventually got was mine the first time I saw the listing, I even told your mom. I knew that so many of the jobs I wanted, interviewed for, and didn’t get weren’t for me, even though I wanted them to be. I knew when this job didn’t come through the first time, I was to keep after it. 

Now I’m kind of back in a routine, gratefully so. I worry that my prayers have less intensity and that my scripture study is less searching. My temple attendance is down, though your mom and I managed to go twice in December. I’m not so much in a routine that when work becomes challenging I resent it nor do I long for days home. I try to bring the focus of my prayers to the challenges of the day or to those around me. I try to focus on the blessings of the day a little more, but I do find me sometimes rushing or skimming on my prayers.

It seems we’re all healthy, things seem restored, you seem happy in your service. There are challenges still and trials ahead, but I’m really grateful for this year. I don’t want another like it any time soon, but hopefully i grew a little this year.

I still really worry about your aunt Patti and your cousin Artie. Their challenge is not getting easier, in someways it’s harder for them. Please keep them in mind.

On to less reflective thoughts. Joe finished his rc plane. Though clearly home made, it looks pretty good. It’s been windy and cold so he’s only been able to make three flight attempts. All were short and two ended in broken propellers. My understanding is that you go through those quickly when you are a newbie pilot. We’ll have to pick some more up at the hobby shop tomorrow.

Jake got a pretty nice LEGO set. He’s making good progress on it. I’m finishing up an rc car that I’ve had in my stash for several years now. I was always kinda guilt ridden when I would do any hobby related stuff during my downtime and I didn’t do much. Now I can chock it up to stress relief.

I had two minor Alzheimer’s moments this week. The first came Friday, I met some friends from my first agency job. About half the names they brought up didn’t ring a bell at all. Though I suspect that one of my friends memory was also fading as I figured out the names as he remembered them were not accurate at all. The other was today. We went up to aunt laurie’s ward for her step son’s farewell. I was completely and utterly lost in alpine for a full half an hour. For the life of me I couldn’t find their church. Mom was not happy at all. I’m glad lasers can’t fire out of her stare, because I would be full of holes right now. We got there at the start, hopefully, of JR’s talk, he did pretty well. We went over to the house afterwards, but it was so packed that we didn’t stay. 

We had tostadas first dinner with fresh guacamole. If I could only have one meal for the rest of my life it would be that.

I’m planning a get together for mom’s birthday/the Utes bowl game. Should be fun. I wonder how many people I’ll offend?

Well kid. I sure love you,

Pops